Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
