And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
