First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
