Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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