Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
