Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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