Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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