Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
