I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can text with my tongue
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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