At least make sure they are 18
Why
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
