How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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