the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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