To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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