He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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