i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My dad is sitting where you rode me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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