You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
