I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
