it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
