Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He did a backflip because drugs
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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