cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
