I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize