So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
