cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
