I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
only if we run a train.
done.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
