I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
