the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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