She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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