Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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