Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
