Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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