Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This is classic penis vs brain.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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