So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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