Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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