Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
