There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
