So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
