I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
