Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
