I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
