Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
