i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if i died would you start the facebook group?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She even gives head with a lisp.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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