dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
