So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
