I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
