Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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