No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize