i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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