I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
