the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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