...so i touched it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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