Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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