why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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