How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
