i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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