im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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