Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize