Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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