im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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