That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize