If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
