Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
id be glad to
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
