in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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