New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize