you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
