hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
