I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
