Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
