But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You made out with two different species that night
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
