Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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