He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
